Narrative therapist, online worldwide

We all live inside stories, 'I'm the anxious one', 'I always ruin things', 'our family doesn't talk about feelings'. Narrative therapy notices that these stories were written somewhere, by someone, under some circumstances, and that they are never the whole truth about you.

The core move is separating you from the problem, so that anxiety becomes something that visits rather than something you are. That distinction sounds small and it changes what you can do about it, which is why it sits well alongside more practical work.

Together we externalise the problem (you're not 'an anxious person', you're a person anxiety visits), hunt for the exceptions your dominant story ignores, and thicken the alternative story, the one with your values, victories and intentions in it, until it's strong enough to live from.

What narrative work with me looks like

What externalising actually does

The move that defines this approach sounds like a language trick and is not. Instead of I am anxious, we work with anxiety, and what it wants from you, and when it shows up. Instead of I am a failure, we talk about the failure story, where it was written and who benefits from you believing it.

The reason this matters is practical. A trait is not something you can act on; it is simply what you are. A visitor is something you can observe, negotiate with, refuse and get better at spotting. Shifting a problem from the first category to the second changes what is available to you, and people usually feel that change in the room rather than being persuaded of it.

It also does something useful to shame. If depression is a thing that has been operating on you, you can be curious about it. If depression is what you are, curiosity is not on offer.

Unique outcomes, and why they get overlooked

Every dominant story survives by discarding evidence, usually with an explanation attached. Slowing down at those moments is the mechanism, and it is why this sits well alongside work on low mood.

Every dominant story survives by ignoring evidence. Someone convinced they always avoid conflict has, in fact, said something difficult at some point. Someone certain they are a bad parent has had days that contradict it entirely.

These exceptions get discarded automatically, usually with an explanation attached: it was a fluke, anyone would have done it, it does not count. A large part of the work is slowing down at exactly those moments and asking what that particular action says about what you value, and what it took to do it. Not as encouragement, but as evidence.

Over time enough of these accumulate to support a different account. That is what re-authoring means: not a positive story replacing a negative one, but a fuller one replacing a selective one.

When this approach fits, and when it does not

It works particularly well where identity is the issue rather than a symptom. People carrying a diagnosis that has become a whole self-description. Anyone whose script was written by a critical family, which overlaps closely with self-esteem work and with the effects of a difficult childhood. People living between cultures, where the dominant story was authored by a community rather than a person, which is why it recurs so often in my work with South Asian clients.

It fits less well as a first approach when someone is in acute crisis, or when the immediate need is symptom relief. Panic that is stopping you leaving the house usually needs CBT or graded exposure first, and the narrative work becomes useful once there is enough stability to stand back and look at the story.

As an integrative therapist I am not committed to one method. In practice narrative ideas often run alongside other work rather than replacing it, and where a life contains a series of difficult events rather than one, narrative exposure therapy is a more structured relative of this approach built specifically for that.

Who this approach helps

People crushed by labels and self-definitions, those whose identity was authored by critical families or rigid expectations, and anyone navigating identity between cultures, which is why it resonates deeply in my work with South Asian clients.

The story you were handed is not the story you must hand on.

Narrative therapy sits within my integrative practice, blended with IFS and person-centred work as it suits you. Begin with a free 15-minute consultation.